I accidentally saw the Fantastic Four 2!

Never one to pass up an opportunity to be hypocritical, I have been making fun of fantastic four all week. Of course, I didn't exactly anticipate seeing it at the end of said week. Unfortunately for my dreams of distant mockery, a group of irresistibly cool people went to see it, and so intent was I on reveling in their company that I was left with no choice: I accidentally had to go see the new Fantastic Four.

That's right, I just used a whole paragraph to make excuses about why I even have the knowledge to make this post! Some might see that as insecure, but I think any self-respecting individual would do the same. It's like calling a criminal on the run insecure about being caught - perhaps there is a certain wisdom in his/her insecurity.

I came in with a certain low expectation. My challenge to the movie was not to jump over this extremely low bar - indeed that would about as good of a challenge as demanding someone jump over a curb while crossing the street. No, I wanted to see if this movie could actually be worse than I expected. It seemed a nearly impossible feat, but, sure enough, Fantastic Four "The Rise of the Silver Surfer" managed to limbo it's way to a lower position. I mean, we're talking some nearly horizontal limbo-ing, the sort of thing that is only seen in Cirque Du Soleil or on planets that boast all invertebrates as inhabitants.

Although, it was pretty fun to make fun of. Glaring plot holes, terrible acting, mediocre action scenes and a script seemingly created by a cliche-belching machine and an attending troop of monkey operators - it is a movie replete with mockery opportunities.

Go see it if:

A) you hate yourself
B) you really hate yourself
C) you gave up good movies for lent
D) you like to make fun of things

P.S. We don't usually do movie reviews here at falcomatic.blogspot.com, but some movies require immediate and summary expulsion from ones memory banks. Like drawing poison from a wound, it must be done swiftly lest it spread to the heart.