1) Hey girl that I am attracted to in a purely physical and shallow way! Wait, what's that? You just answered your cell-phone with the phrase "holla at yer girl" and then proceeded to talk about how your boyfriend is "soo craazy"?
Drat. Even liberal application of pretending gel can't allow me to continue to be attracted to you.
2) Books purchased. Put in trunk. Keys in ignition. Realization:
The costs of these books alone are half of what I need to buy a scooter. You are such a jerk, higher education.
3) Why do people feel the need to throw things in urinals? Seriously, people.
4) I would tell you that it is rude to attempt to listen to your iPod in the back of the class, oh most clever of active slackers, but judging by the determined look on your face i'm relatively certain those iPod buds are fused to your ears.
No doubt it was some sort of tragic accident, and my bringing it up would only cause further anguish.
5) As much as I enjoy peeing on such an impressive assortment of things: what the crap? Does someone come in to the bathroom with a large bag of random crap, lock the door behind them, and then one by one toss it's content into the urinals with a solemn, self-satisfied look on their face? Perhaps while whispering "you never have loved me, mother"?
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3 comments:
Another priceless #5 on one of your lists.
dear lord, what school do you go to?
Mojan: Thank you. I find including the best first to be trite. Not to mention cliche.
Ash: Only one of the top five community colleges in the nation! Booyaa!
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